Let’s part so that we might be able to share a joke when we meet many years down the line,’ I said, ‘I wanted to be the air that you breath — just as you have been mine. But I will settle to be a breeze that passes through your life, gently caressing your cheek and filling your lungs for just a moment. I am ready to be a fond memory from your past who taught you a small lesson in fidelity and respect, even if it might bring a slight sadness and the question — ‘What if?’ I am ready to be a good friend when we meet decades from now. I’ll be a chance you had to take, a heart you had to break. What I am not ready to be is a mistake.’ She had stopped pacing and had sat opposite me. Tears still flowed from her eyes. ‘You know my story. My mother forgot me like a bad mistake. I was a constant reminder of my father’s mistake in marrying her and he drank himself to death, sick of looking at my face. I bounced from home to home because no one wanted me. I am done being a mistake that no one. Mary, Denise, Deborah, Sarah, Angel, Hannah, Alice, Rebecca, Kimberly, Kaitlynn, Anna, Kylie, Anastasia. Anastasia, I like that too. Both names I like a Russian. Of course their father is Russian too, so I guess it would fit. I don’t know how long I’ve been out here but I know I am starting to get cold. I know exactly how to warm up. Jacuzzi time!! I hop off the float and swim over to the stairs. Climbing out quickly, but carefully I rush over to the waiting warmth of the water in the Jacuzzi ahead of me. Sinking down to my shoulders knots I didn’t even realize I had melted away. I need to find time to do this more often. I bask in the sunlight like a turtle on the side of a lake, catching vitamin D from the rays. I love being outside. I am ready for a nap of my won now that the tension has left my shoulders. I climb out of the water and make my way back to the mud room for a shower and a towel. Chlorine turns my hair brittle and makes my skin so dry if I don’t wash it off right.
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